Emotional baggage! Hmmm. What does this grammar mean? Truth is every person carries some sort of baggage. Some more than the others though, and most times these baggage could influence our personality and can determine the kind of persons we become. Carrying emotional baggage all around can be likened to a 50kg man trying to carry a big generator on his head, what do you expect? movement? of course, not. He most definitely would realise that’s not possible and ask for help or leave the generator alone. Either way, he can’t move with the generator. Point is you can’t enjoy life or move on in life with a lot of baggage controlling your mind. Good thing is, if anyone have these issues am here to walk you down through the lane of success in overcoming this. So relax.
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE? It’s the carrying of all the disappointments, wrongs and trauma of the past including in unresolved issues and this can be detrimental. We all have issues, we all make mistakes but our psychological response to these things determines if it becomes a baggage or not. When we dwell repeatedly on mistakes and can’t move on because of them it becomes a baggage, when we let mistakes torment us it becomes a baggage. This kind of baggage affects our health, relationship with others and our job. How does it do this? Emotional baggage affects a person’s worldview, and can have negative consequences on our ability to connect with people. A happy mind heals the body, so with so much sadness from disappointments, negativities, how can you be truly happy? How can you heal your body? Did you know that your mental health determines the capability of your immune to fight diseases? With excess negativity your immune can fight so little. Then over thinking causes headaches, heart disease, hypertension, depression, and the list goes on. A person with excess emotional baggage also loses self-esteem gradually. Without having the right view of yourself, how are others expected to have a right view of you?
Am certain it’s time to look for the antidote to these baggage. Let’s follow these steps:
**TAKE NOTES OF THE THOUGHTS, BELIEVES THAT KEEPS YOU DOWN—-Be honest, identifying your thoughts is key to dealing with the underlying situation.
**REFLECT ON EACH THOUGHT AND IDENTIFY THE SOURCE OF THE THOUGHT– This involves acknowledging the painful memories and breaking the blame chain. Don’t keep blaming yourself, your parents, or someone else. You need to understand that you would never move forward till you stop blaming yourself or people. Then forgiveness is important. Forgive everyone who caused you pain and that includes you if needed. If you don’t forgive you would be stuck with bitterness and pain.
**FIND POSITIVITY IN EXPERIENCE– There’s always a lesson learned from every bad experience, so look for the lesson. It could help in future experiences or you could advice others based on what you learned.
**CREATE AFFIRMATIVE THOUGHTS TO COUNTERACT NEGATIVE THOUGHTS— There would always be relapses especially in the initial process of trying to let go of all the baggage, so create thoughts you can use to counteract them. Replace negative thoughts like” I can’t get over this” with “I would get over this”. Point is, replace negativity with positivity. Put a reminder of these affirmations on your phone, on your fridge, or familiar places at home or work you frequently use, your personal space of course.
***PRACTICE PATIENCE AND MINDFULNESS– Don’t get so hard on yourself but don’t give in to self-pity or wallow in pity. It takes time to change bad habits especially when rooted on deep hurt or fear. So give time, time and you would see how fine you would be. A problem shared is a problem half solved so be willing to ask for help from a trusted friend when necessary.
Bruce Springsteen said “You can find an identity in the damage that’s been done you, you find your identity in your wounds, in your scars, in the place where you have been beat up and you turn them into a medal. We all wear the things we have survived with some honour but the real honour is in also transcending them, when we do this we experience life in a richer, deeper and more meaningful way”
Do these things and be ready to face the real world, a world of opportunities and right explorations. Work on yourself (be a better package of you), smile harder from within, pursue excellence and see success run after you.
As my dearest friend always told me “No matter what happens…. You would be just fine when you deal with it with the right attitude”
Written by Tega Odibi