As long as we live, sooner or later, willy nilly, we will have disappointments! Sounds harsh right? Well, didn’t they say truth is bitter? And isn’t it the bitter truth that after being disappointed, most people are weighed down, not by the encumbrances of their disappointment but as a result of how they tackle such. Like every other thing in life, it is important that we learn before hand, how to tackle disappointments before they stare us daringly in the face. For weeks, I have been speaking to friends and colleagues who have successfully bounced off disappointments no matter how severe; one thing they have in common is they do not have regrets, instead, they say such setbacks have been a blessing to them. I decided to share some of the secrets they shared with you.
Accept the situation
It doesn’t help to quickly refute the truth of the situation just because you are in shock of it. If he has called the relationship quit, he has called it quit! You do not want to console yourself by saying “No! It can’t be, he is coming back to me!” Well, he may come back but what hat if he doesn’t come back? It is better that at the outset, you accept the situation as it really is; if she’s gone, take it that she is really gone.
Cry if you would
It has never been a sign of weakness to cry when there is a blow to one’s confidence. In fact, strong and successful people cry the most because they’ve recorded many setbacks in their climb upwards, yet, they thrive. There is also a therapeutic effect that crying gives when not overdone. So, go to that room of yours, shed those tears satisfactorily, but make sure you’ll never cry for same reason again.
Now, sit down and carefully think about your immediate past. Many people will tell you that the past is a bye gone that should never be called to mind. But this is hardly true. In contrast, having a holistic view of the past will help in planning your future. Sincerely consider the events leading to the eventual drawback; could you have omitted some actions on your path or did you simply go about some actions wrongly; could you have said some things differently? How would you address a similar situation if it presents itself again? Pondering on these thoughts will help you see things reasonably and help you move forward.
The fact that things didn’t work out does not underplay your efforts and hard work ever since. Commend yourself. Be happy with yourself. Be grateful that you have come thus far. You are not that bad after all. Appreciate the good you see in yourself even if someone sees otherwise. You begin to feel like a failure when you accept what people think you are rather what you really are. So the choice is always yours: value yourself for what you are or rot in self depreciation for what others say.
Get busy! Give yourself tasks that will keep you occupied for the meantime. An idle mind is worse than an idle hand and an idle hand they say is a tool for the devil, so keep body and soul together by engaging in things you love doing. If you love writing, why not write something about you present predicament, if that will make you feel better, anyway. Just get busy, don’t be idle so as not to relapse into undue nostalgia.
Hang out with friends more now. By friends I mean wholesome association. Perhaps you can figure out one or two of such friends indeed who you can share your burden with, this could have a healing effect. If you deem no one fit to share your troubles with, simply throw your burden on God, at least, he is your creator, someone you can always look to for help.
This is not the time you want to stress yourself out. You need a lot of rest and this is because you need to think straight and face the future squarely – that all you’ve got now. So create time to unwind, make time out to do what makes you happy. You surely can have a right positive frame of mind when you engage in what you love and this will help you move on.
Being open minded despite your past unpleasant experience helps you see live from an optimistic perspective. Truth is, you may have been disappointed by one or more persons but there are a million and one out there who wouldn’t. Do not allow what ever happened to you have such severe impression on you that you become close-minded.
Forgive and try to forget
You might not find it easy to forget, it is only natural. But forgiveness is always more within your reach, so, find it in your heart to forgive whoever has erred you and gradually, those memories will fade out. This is the most difficult stage of the moving-forward process but you have to realize that to forgive means you have won over the one who has offended you and to abhor resentment simply means the reversed. So please, forgive and forget for there are better things ahead of you.
Take your chances
Do not hesitate to grab another opportunity when it presents itself! Don’t let the fear of past failure or disappointment inhibit your chances of future accomplishment. Always take your chances.
image from: thistimeimeanit.com